Books
Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy by Jessica Fern
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taomino
Blogs
brighterthansunflowers.com - Eve Rickert: I am the co-author of More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory, Polyamory and Jealousy, and Black Iron, the co-founder and publisher of Thorntree Press and the founder of Talk Science to Me.
solopoly.net - Amy Gahran: I write about solo polyamory (being poly without having, or necessarily wanting, a primary/nesting-style relationship).
poly.land - Poly.Land is a daily posting site for polyamory, ambiamory, relationship advice, psychology, writing, and more.
Resources for Relationships in General: books I use and encourage my clients to read
Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin - the relationship work I do is based off of Stan’s PACT therapy model. Attachment centered and focusing on how to become experts on each other in relationship.
Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski - Discussing the science of sex, from the perspective of cis and largely hetero people. Useful with the caveat that there is some gender essentialism. Useful in helping to understand what will help increase sex interest for all people, however. Does not address the needs of Ace peoples.
The Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch PhD - the title is misleading, the book is more about focusing on individuation and how keeping your own identity within a relationship can help maintain sexual desire. A dense read, clinically written.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson - Many of my clients struggle with having been raised by imperfect parents and want to be able to move on. “You may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.” Helpful when discussing attachment styles.
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller - A great primer on attachment styles, easy read for those who want a quick tutorial on what attachment is and how attachment styles show up in relationship.
Polyamory presentation I gave in 2019 to Seattle Counselor’s Association
